Last night was one of those nights. I’d been simmering all day and was so glad when Pastor JT called and said he had arranged a sitter and we were going out. I wasn’t angry or ready to fight, I just had some things I needed to get off my chest and there could be a good chance tears would follow. You know, one of those nights.
So, Pastor JT gets home and we piddle around, not really talking, not mad, but aware that there are things to be discussed while we wait to leave. The time rolls around for Monkey to go to bed and our sweet sitters (married couple) show up and hang with the big girls for awhile.
Everyone is tucked safe inside the house and we head out.
You see, in a marriage, if you’re not continually deliberate with communication it can break down. Slowly, over a period of weeks or months, things can get left unsaid, heart-moments are passed by, and the marriage isn’t “connecting.”
This is where we were last night. No big problems. No major events. It’s just our connection needed to be plugged back in, and that meant a “talking” date night. No movie (which we both love) just talking.
So, he asked me to start sharing…and I did….but it was more like the “You always…” and “You never…” instead of, “Honey, let me tell you what’s going on with me.”
Well, that didn’t go well. He got defensive and I got tearful, okay weepy, and a I decided to take good look out the passenger window for a good ten minutes. Yeah, that’ll show him. *sniff, snort, snot, sniff*
Let me just say this: Pastor JT and I are not yellers. We never have been and so a “fight” for us is just tense talking. As so it was.
The next thing said was, “What do you want to drink?” Starbucks saves the day!
And then a miracle happened. THE event that turned the whole night around…he drove through Arby’s.
It’s amazing what a little food on a tense moment can do. Within fifteen minutes, I had shared my deepest spiritual thoughts that were tucked away over the last few weeks with Pastor JT while munchin’ on a Jr. Roast Beef and curly fries. And for the next hour and a half we sat, talked, drove, talked, filled up the car, talked, drove around the state capital, and reconnected all over again.
It was a great night together, and one we needed for awhile now. Next time I feel tension rise between the hubs, I think I’ll hold up the hand of silence and say, “Honey, before we go any further…I’m thinkin’ Arby’s.”