A Shaving Discovery

As you all know, well, maybe not all of you…lemme try that again.

As some of you know, I have decided to attempt the grand feat of getting in shape. I know, I know. To many of us this feat is pert near impossible, but I shall give it a go. A few weeks ago I sounded the trumpet call to anyone who would join me in this adventure. I am happy to say that as of today I have completed the FOURTH week of the Couch to 5K program.

If you are new to the neighborhood, please go back to this post to see what’s happ-nin. It’s basically a self-imposed 9 week torture extraaaavaGAAANNAZZAAAaaaa.

Just 2 days ago, I was running and running and sweating and running and heaving and walking. Let me just say right here that I can just about run forever when Bono is singing Elevation in my ear. Or Vertigo. Or Yahweh. Or well, anything. And David Crowder isn’t too shabby either.

Well, I decided then it would be a good idea to take a shower. Everyone likes it when others take showers. It’s kind. Like rewinding your video. Only we don’t use those anymore and it’s nothing like that at all.

To increase my husbands love for me, I decided I’d do him a favor and shave my legs. Gentlemen, this is no small feat. There is much to learn here. We have to feel our way through this because, as I’m sure it is for everyone, those tiny angel like hairs are hard to see…eeeerrrnt!!

Those suckers are easy to see and feel like little bitty pins. This has nothing to do with where I’m going.

So, I’m shaving. I get to the back of my left knee. Girls, you know the drill. You have to straighten your leg in such a way that the back of your knee is flexed. You can’t really run a razor up the back of a knee when it’s bent.

This isn’t rocket surgery.

I’m shaving the back of my leg, flexed and gettin’ purty. I rub my hand back there and my stomach dropped!

I have a tumor on the back of my leg! I thought to myself!

Then I started talking out loud. “What the? Check the other one!”

Sure enough, the same thing! What is going on! What ARE those.

A small, still voice of reason spoke in my ear. “Um, Natalie, could it be…..a muscle?”

“A wha?”

“You know, a muscle. They tend to get bigger when you exercise.”

But why of ALL places would it start there? Why not my thighs? Calf? Why the BACKS of my knees. No one looks at those. And I don’t need that spider vein accentuated at. all.

Later, Pastor JT came home and I asked him to check my knees for me. I once again went into the oh-so graceful maneuvers to see the backs of my knees and show him that, yes, there are things there. Twist to the left, feel, feel, feel. To the right, feel, feel, feel. I even bent over backwards to the mirror to see if they looked different from each other. I think he rolled his eyes.

Maybe I had a tumor. Maybe something was wrong with my knees. In his sweet (read sarcastic) way, he said, “Yeah, those knee tumors come up all the time.”

I did not puffy heart him at that time.

So, my dear readers beware. If you exercise, there is a good chance you might gain some muscle. But do not fret! They are supposed to be there.