When people ask me what I do outside of being a mom, you know, what’s my passion, my heart’s cry, I usually say things that range from being a speaker to a Bible teacher to even a writer. All of which is true. I’d say it and really try to believe that yes, that was my calling. However, in all my years of describing myself that way it never rang deep and true in me that I had actually landed on why I was created. I was good at things that felt like they should be my calling. I could make myself a great speaker and actually being a Bible teacher was something I loved, but there was always a deep unsettling feeling about those things. While good, and even the will of God at that time, I never walked away saying, “Yes, this is what I was knit together to do. This is why I wake up!”
(sidebar: I’m sure those gifts and talents will be a part of my life still, but they will be a catalyst to what I’m about to explain. Ok, on we go.)
In 2002, JT suggested I take the Perspectives course on the Christian Movement. Like a loving wife and faithful woman of God, I didn’t go. Why? Because who wants to hear about what a low-life they are because they don’t want to go out on the mission field? Who wants their heart changed and have to move to some remote village void of toilets and light switches? Not. Me. So I didn’t go to Perspectives until two years after JT.
What I found was quite the contrary. God didn’t whisper to me “Gooooo! GOOOOO!”
Something else happened. He said, “Stay. Send.”
Fast forward eight years later, a lot of wrestling, a lot of trying to find my place to land and call my passion, I finally get it.
I am a Sender
Like my parents before me and their parents before them, I was created to love the Body, uplift her, encourage her, teach her, send her on her way, and care for her as she lives out her purpose.
Even typing that my heart beats a little faster. Unlike saying I’m a speaker or teacher, saying I’m a Sender resonates so deeply I’d dare say it is supernatural. It makes sense to me in ways I can’t fully explain in English. I’d try Spanish but then I’d just be making a fool of myself, but many of you would be like, “Yes! She got her prayer language!” (Some of you would be like, “Wait. I think she’s trying to communicate, I just know it.”)
Now when people ask me what my passion is I can truly and deeply and with all my heart, without a shadow of a doubt, from the very soul of who I am, say, “I…am a Sender.”
(Tomorrow: What the Heck is a Sender, really?)